There’s been a lot of research that’s identified money issues as a leading cause of relationship problems and divorce. For example, 55.6% of couples cited financial problems as a major contributor to divorce in this study that followed them from engagement onwards.

Psychologists and marriage experts recommend talking early, openly, and often about money as the best way to prevent it from causing relationship issues. However, it can feel awkward and difficult to bring up money for the first time no matter how long you’ve been together.

We got sick of the endless cycle of broken budgets and anxiety around saving,  if you've experienced this and are looking for a community of like minded people who’re ready to try something new, hit subscribe above and join us on our journey!

Here are 5 good conversation starters to help you and your partner learn more about each other and get more comfortable talking about money.

What was your experience with money growing up?

Studies have found that our experience with money growing up has a large influence on our behavior as adults. Whether it was due to different socio-economic backgrounds, cultures, or locations, your childhood experiences could’ve been very different. Learning about your partner's experience with money while growing up can help you empathize with them and understand their perspective.

How did your parents handle money?

This question dives deeper into what specific things about money you each learned from watching your parents. For example, if only one parent handled money for your partner’s family, that can influence how they expect money to be handled in your relationship. Or if your partner’s parents were really hesitant to spend money on anything, that can help you understand your partner’s own reluctance to spend money now as an adult.

What is your biggest financial mistake and proudest financial accomplishment so far?

We all have made mistakes when it comes to money. A recent survey by Consumer Affairs found that 67% of Americans have felt regret after making major financial decisions. Sharing your financial mistakes and accomplishments with each other helps you build trust, learn from both of your mistakes, and learn how you want to work together going forward.

What do you appreciate about your partner’s money habits?

Sharing what you appreciate about the other person helps you acknowledge the positive aspects of your differences and how you balance each other. You might be pleasantly surprised at what your partner notices and appreciates about you and vice versa.

What are your financial fears and financial goals?

This question gets to the underlying reason of why you want to save and what each of your motivations are. You might have different fears and goals, but talking about them helps you get closer to establishing what your shared goals are and how you can work together to achieve them.

Final thoughts

These conversation starters are the first step and are designed to help you understand your perspectives, be more open with each other, and get more comfortable talking about money.

Therapists recommend scheduling time in advance to talk about money on a regular basis. This helps you both come prepared to talk about money in a healthier and more productive way. A recent study by Fidelity found that couples who communicate well are more likely to discuss finances at least monthly and have good household financial health.

Seedling is the first game designed to change your spending and save meaningfully in real life. Subscribe to stay up-to-date with personal finance posts, play early versions, and give feedback throughout our development journey.